Monday, Monday..

Today has become our day of rest. A day of reprieve. Nothing to do but be. All the business for tomorrow is done - with the exception of some cleaning at my house. My dad asked for my reassurance on this yesterday, three times. He needs a day. He also told me that my brother has a problem - he thinks I am bossy. And, the truth is, I am. It comes from years and years of people asking me what to do, how to act, when to go.. it's a double edged sword and it was given to me years ago. Does he want it back? Does he want it at all? I would gladly surrender it, but first you have to stop asking me what to do and telling me to decide. Not my dad. My brother.

My mother was the glue. She held us together. When I wanted to kill my brothers, she made me think twice. Behind the scenes, she was also working on them. Her last wish was for us to be together and to be nice to one another. No bickering. That is going to be a tough one. We have a a lifetime of sibling rivalry going on here. I want to smack him, and I want to do it now. My dad suggested that maybe he has low self esteem. I just wish folks would smile and nod, and stop passing such information on. It's like repeating the sky is blue, or the earth is round.. do we have to act as if it is new information and like something will change because this information has been shared? It makes me half crazy, but not today. 

Today. A day to wander. I went back to bed this morning, after one cup of coffee. Couldn't keep my eyes open, and I wandered through school. A few kids in the hallway could see me in my robe. My son came to get me, to take me back home. And home, it had an extra fireplace that was falling apart. I could see through the walls to another place, where folks played tennis, or so it seemed. They looked through the holes in the walls and waved. Was my mother there? Did she play tennis? I don't often dream, in fact, I would swear that I usually do not dream at all, but when I do, the dreams are odd and unusual. 

Today. A step away from the hustle and bustle of work. A step away from chores. A day to sit, wander, think, and reflect. A day for compassion. A day for love. A day to simply be.