How does one say goodbye? I know she is at peace. I know she is without pain. I know that heaven does have a new angel on board - a woman I know as Mom. She was my friend.
It is funny how life goes on. Friends call with dinner invitations. The bands play at the local clubs. My dad is back on the regular schedule at work, and I will go back to my students on Tuesday - taking Monday to help out a friend. Friendship. So important.How does one say 'til we meet again, when meeting again means I will also be at the end of my life?
I think about my children. They are so vital, so involved with their lives. I'm glad they have had things to do and people to see, relationships to nourish. I wonder if the powers that be had a plan for me, if perhaps this is why I am single. And, I wonder where to go from here. How to go on from here. My mom was such an important part of my life these past years. Coming home early to have dinner with her. Staying home to be on call, to be there in a storm. She was so afraid of being alone, of being stuck, of being helpless and in danger. Fear. Is that what I am feeling? Adrift and afraid? I know my mom is no longer fearful, My dad also seems at peace. Such new territory. A new world. I wonder.
So, I say goodbye. We say goodbye. We wave to the heavens, we smile at the sky. I sing. I dance. I talk to her. I don't know if she hears me, but I do know that I still need to talk. To share. To believe. And I know that she would want me to go on, go forward to love and be loved. I know she loved my children. I know she loved my brothers, and their families. I know they will miss her to. We honor her by moving forward, into our own lives and letting go of our children so that they can live theirs.
I'll miss you mom. Dad will too.
It is funny how life goes on. Friends call with dinner invitations. The bands play at the local clubs. My dad is back on the regular schedule at work, and I will go back to my students on Tuesday - taking Monday to help out a friend. Friendship. So important.How does one say 'til we meet again, when meeting again means I will also be at the end of my life?
I think about my children. They are so vital, so involved with their lives. I'm glad they have had things to do and people to see, relationships to nourish. I wonder if the powers that be had a plan for me, if perhaps this is why I am single. And, I wonder where to go from here. How to go on from here. My mom was such an important part of my life these past years. Coming home early to have dinner with her. Staying home to be on call, to be there in a storm. She was so afraid of being alone, of being stuck, of being helpless and in danger. Fear. Is that what I am feeling? Adrift and afraid? I know my mom is no longer fearful, My dad also seems at peace. Such new territory. A new world. I wonder.
So, I say goodbye. We say goodbye. We wave to the heavens, we smile at the sky. I sing. I dance. I talk to her. I don't know if she hears me, but I do know that I still need to talk. To share. To believe. And I know that she would want me to go on, go forward to love and be loved. I know she loved my children. I know she loved my brothers, and their families. I know they will miss her to. We honor her by moving forward, into our own lives and letting go of our children so that they can live theirs.
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